Ways to End Relationships and Questions
to Ask Before Ending a Relationship
By Tigress Luv,
The Breakup Guru
The first thing to know, before you learn
the ways to end relationships, is the preparation of the moment. You do not
want to do anything spur of the moment and without thinking it out thoroughly
first. So there are also questions to ask before ending a relationship! Like,
am I sure I want to do this?
1) Always be prepared for a scene! Do
not break up with them in a public place. Find a place that is quiet and
where you two can be alone. Of all the ways to end relationships, breaking
up in a restaurant or club is the least tactful way imaginable. Your
soon-to-be-ex may cry uncontrollably, beg you to change your mind, or even
make a scene by yelling at you, calling you names, or throwing a dish of
linguine in your lap then following it with a glass of red wine over your
head.
2) Stay sober! If you want to truly find
the best ways to end relationships, being drunk at the time is not one of
them. You must remain level-headed and of sound mind and body.
3) Be respectful! Treat them with dignity.
You are the one inflicting the pain here, so make sure that you do it in
the least hurtful way that you possibly can. If you need to let yourself
be the 'bad one', just to save their ego, by all means do it. I'm sure you
weren't perfect, anyway, right? When searching for ways to end relationships
you have to understand that rejection hurts, and that by ending the relationship
you are rejecting them as a person. How much damage do you
think that will do to their ego and self-esteem? Quite a lot, so try to soften
the blow and treat them with respect and dignity.
4) Make sure you are SURE you want to
end the relationship! Don't burn your bridges and then decide you want to
do a u-turn and go back. There are many ways to end relationships but sometimes,
there aren't any ways to save it. Most of the time, once a relationship is
over, it is over.
Are there any questions to ask before
ending a relationship? Yes, this is a big - and permanent step - so make
sure you have resolved to the fact that the relationship is
over.
5) Don't leave any loose ends. Before
you even attempt to end the relationship make sure that you have all your
belongings back, and that they do to. You do not want to leave the possibility
of any reason for contact open.
6) Watch your timing! You do not want
to destroy someone who is going through a difficult time in their own life,
such as dealing with a family member's illness, cramming for a final exam,
etc. Or break someone's heart when it is about time for them to celebrate
their birthday, or it is just a few days away from Valentine's Day or Christmas.
Don't be a jerk about your timing. It can wait a few more days or weeks,
can't it?
7) State clearly that you are breaking
up with them. Don't hem and haw, don't beat around the bush, and don't hope
that if you just 'taper' off from contact with them that the relationship
will dissolve on its own. As a matter of fact, the less you are in their
life, the more they feel attached to you by longing for you during your absence.
That's one trick people use to get their ex to come back to them!
This one is the least likely to be successful of all the ways to end
relationships. Hoping you two can just drift apart will most likely
backfire on you.
8) Don't point fingers. The relationship
isn't working. You both suck. Period. One of the worse ways to end relationships
is to make a list to the person you are breaking up with of all their faults,
flaws, or where they went wrong. This gives them the impression that the
relationship can be saved if they just work on fixing those things
about them that you don't like. There is no closure to be had on their part
when they hold hope that they can get back together with you if they can
only do 'this' differently or change 'that' about
themselves.
9) Stop all contact. There is no need
for late night booty calls. There is no need to hug them and kiss them
passionately good-bye. Just end the relationship and then stay out of
their life. If you choose to remain friends, that's fine, but only do
so after the feelings of grief or jealousy are over. Wait this period out
before you come in contact with each other again. Don't make a point of being
anywhere where you know they may be, unless you can't avoid it, such as work
or school. But you don't have to go to the same clubs, or parties, or restaurants
as the person you just broke up with. That is just in bad taste. Let them
have time to mend - without you in the picture.
10) If they contact you, do not respond.
Each time you respond you will only be encouraging them and that will result
in prolonging their heartache, and delaying their breakup recovery. Be firm,
be direct.
11) And lastly, be prepared to doubt
your decision to break up. Especially if they seem to take the breakup fairly
casually, don't bother to try to talk you out of it, or never attempt to
contact you or see you again. This is their way of turning the rejection
back onto you, and it is by the very fact of being rejected by someone do
we lose our ego. This loss of ego makes us feel like we want them back in
our good graces, so we can again feel good about ourselves. That is why the
best selling books are ones on 'how to win an ex back'...because people cannot
stand rejection, and it is even especially harder if the person who is rejecting
you is someone you look up to, admire, love and respect. Remember those questions
to ask before ending a relationship? I hope you asked yourself them. Can
this relationship be saved before I breakup? Is there hope to salvage the
damage of past wrongs? Is there outside sources that we might get help as
a couple from? Can she/he change? Can I?
If you still find yourself uneasy with the thought of breaking up, and need
more encouragement or help, we offer you these
20 ways to leave
your lover!
Best wishes! |